92 Impulsive May
"Stand the fuck down, before I blow your fucking brains out!" An obnoxious bald secret service agent yelled at Jam, while flailing his gun around as if he could kill Jam with but a thought. This was by far the most annoying person Jam had the displeasure of interacting with thus far, and he was apparently the leader of the secret service as the rest of the special armed guards in the Oval Office stayed silent and let the obnoxious man do as he pleased.
"So, noisy." Jam used his Dao Domains to crush all the armed guards into the floor before they could even fire, as he didn't want his poor ears to start itching again. He made sure to use more than the regular pressure on the secret service's leader as the man had thoroughly annoyed Jam.
The president as well as all the foreign diplomats that had previously been discussing a treaty all stopped and stared at Jam with confusion and fear. In this eerie silence, Jam and the people he had teleported over made their way over to the conference table, where after everyone was seated, Jam spoke.
He said "Mr. President, We haven't met yet you've already called for my death. Isn't that a bit unfair?"
The president face grew ashened as he turned to the General and saw the look on his face. Before he could even speak, Jam continued "Now, the general over here has said the decision to bomb me in Arizona was agreed on by him, you, and seven others. Could you please confirm or deny his claim?" No soul pressure was used on the president as Jam was testing him to see if he would respond truthfully.
Good thing Jam's guess came to fruition, as the president didn't hesitate to say in front of everyone "Yes! We did agree to do that. And though It was a horrible mistake and I don't expect you to grant us any mercy..."
Jam was pleased to find the president being so cooperative. He said "Well, I'm not so desperate to bully mortals, so you don't have to worry about being killed or something along those lines."
The president was taken aback by Jam's vow to not retaliate. It was odd but they just didn't know enough about Jam to understand his reasoning. The president, still very nervous, said "We'll if you aren't going to kill us, what do you want?"
As he brought this topic up, Jam frowned. What could these people even offer him as compensation? Money? A place to stay? Prestige and power? In this unbloomed dimension, Jam had all of those things and much more! There was nothing he could think of that he might need from these people.
Jam grew silent for a while, but no one spoke up. No one, except for Tzatziki, who suggested "Well, you're going to be here for eight years. Training traditionally would be very hard if not impossible as this world has no connection to the Heavenly Dao. However… You could get some unique experiences by living like a mortal. You know? Like abstinence training."
"Oh? That doesn't seem like a good idea… but you're the teacher, so lets try it out~" Jam ended his conversation with Tzatziki and spoke out loud "Mhmm… I'm going to stay in this world for eight years. You won't understand why I'm requesting this, but I would like to be sent into the mortal world as a regular person..."
"Uh… what?" The president as well as everyone else in attendance were confused by Jam's request. The foreign diplomats were still trying to comprehend Jam's psychic-like abilities, so hearing him say "mortal world" really set off a bunch of red flags. The president and the general were even more confused as they knew what they had attempted to do to Jam.
They nuked him and as compensation, he asked to be sent into the mortal world as a normal person? With the abilities Jam had thus far displayed he could easily ask for anything. But then again, this man who claimed to be a god; who would know what he thought…
Jam repeated himself, to which the president hurriedly said "Right! Right… Now, what kind of accommodation would you like? Where would you like to live? How much money would you like to receive…." He kept asking these questions to which Tzatziki said "The point of you living among mortals is to get the experience, so you can't live lavishly, you can't flaunt around your powers..." and many other things; directly shooting down everything the president wished to use to get on Jam's good side.
In the end, all the questions the president asked Jam became pointless as he said "Can't you just arrange for me to live with a regular person?"
"A regular… person?" The president drew a blank face as he couldn't understand what Jam was saying.
"Yeah, like whatever is the most average household in this uh… country? Yeah. Put me in one of those~"
"In that case, you could just live with me." Out of the blue, May, the scientist who had spent time talking to Jam when he landed, spoke up.
"You? Mhmm..." Jam took a second to consider what she was proposing and thought it would be a good idea. They were already on good terms and had already come to face "death" together. He asked "You don't mind me living with you? I am kind of a stranger, right?"
To Jam's question, May smilled. She said "Stranger or not, whoever ends up having to take care of you will be a stranger at first, right? Besides, you already save my life once..." As she said that last sentence, her eyes flashed with a sad light. She had been cast away like a pawn the moment the government had decided to nuke Jam with her still there.
"Cool~" Jam turned to the president and used his Demon Dao to give off a "deep impression," as he said "Now, I'll be letting you off the hook because this is a weak little world and you can't hope to stand a chance against me. BUT! Don't get it twisted, this is your one and only freebie, so don't try me again… Next time, just storming into an office will not be the conclusion."
Jam deactivated his Demon Dao and teleported himself, Danger Noodle, and May back to the desert in Arizona. As he went on to figure out how he would be living for the next eight years, back in the Oval Office, after everyone finished cleaning themselves from the messes they had created — Jam's Demon Dao caused everyone to defecate, urinate, and vomit all over themselves when he left — the president of the United States called for an emergency meeting with the leaders of all the free nations in the world.
With the help of the foreign diplomats that had witnessed Jam's abilities as well as video footage captured at NASA Headquarters, the existence of the walking calamity self proclaimed to be a god was made aware to the world. All across the world, people in power were made aware to Jam's existence. They weren't told much, only that under no circumstances was that entity to be provoked.
There was much debate as to whether the general public should be made aware of Jam's existence, but it was quickly decided to hide him from public view. Jam had expressed his wish to live among regular "mortals" so having people aware that he wasn't one of them might agitate him.
"So, Where do you live? I'm going to teleport us one last time before abandoning the use of my powers..." Jam couldn't even believe the words that came out of his mouth. Tzatziki had made him swear to not use his cultivation base while living as a mortal. To Jam, who wished for nothing more than to lock himself away and cultivate till the end of time, this was a most devilish proposition…
As Jam was sulking at the thought of abandoning his powers, May was going through a myriad of emotions herself. She… she had actually invited Jam, a strange "god," to live with her. Though the thought itself was present in her heart and she didn't regret her chosen words, the prospect of this actually happening drove her imagination wild.
"hey… Hey… HEY… HEY!!!" Eventually, May woke up after Jam yelled for her attention. She organized her thoughts and said "I… I live just a couple dozen miles down south from here." She pulled out her smartphone once again and showed Jam where her house was located with Google Maps.
As Jam was preparing to teleport them for the last time, he heard Danger Noodle's confused voice ask him "Jam, why are you conjuring Purification Flames?"
Jam took a look above his head and sure enough, Divinity had activated without his direct commands. This would only end when Jam's God Souls healed back up, so for now, he'd just have to put up with these annoyances.
Jam waved the Purification Flames away with but a thought; his Divinity might be going off, seemingly at random, but thankfully, he could still negate those effects after taking notice. With the Flames gone, Jam actuality reactivated his Divinity and covered himself, Danger Noodle, and May with Invisibility before teleporting near May's house. He might not care if his presence was discovered when he teleported to NASA's Headquarters, but now that he was trying to live as a mortal, he wouldn't want any unnecessary attention cast his away if it wasn't absolutely necessary.