93 Three Months
After teleporting into the skies right above May's house, Jam's party of three descended from the skies; all three cloaked in Invisibility. Jam used a very weak illusion on the group as he dispelled the Invisibility, so to anyone who might have seen them appear out of thin air, some slight changes to their perception were made to make it seem like the group had always been there.
As May fiddled around with her pockets to get her keys, Jam appraised her little house. It wasn't anything too special. Well, considering that was Jam's assessment and he had lived in mansions and courtyard fitted homes, for a mortal it was "alright." Eventually, May got her doors open, and the first thing Jam experienced from his new home, was the sound of a child running to the front door accompanied by a joyous high pitched voice. Jam could see a little boy run up to May and say "Mom! Mom! How come you're here so early?!"
The boy noticed Danger Noodle and drew a blank face, which then turned slightly red. He hid behind May, and finally noticed Jam's tall frame looking at him with curiosity. May looked a bit helpless as she introduced her son to Jam. She said "James these two will be living with us for a while, so be nice to them ok?" It was at that point that she realized that she still had no idea what the "god's" name was.
Good thing Jam blurted out "Wow you're name is James? My name's Jam so it's like a short form of your name! What a coincidence~"
"W-what about her? What's her name?" James asked, as he pointed at Danger Noodle.
"Her? Uh..." Jam didn't know if he should call Danger Noodle by that name since she was currently in her humanoid form. Too bad he didn't get a chance to discuss this with her, before she proudly exclaimed "I'm Danger Noodle!" Wait. Danger Noodle also knew how to speak English? How odd...
"Danger Noodle? You mean like a thread snake?" James almost couldn't hold back a laugh. Who would name a girl "Danger Noodle?"
To James' remark Danger Noodle flashed a look of hostility, which did all but destroyed his psyche, as he cowered behind May in terror.
Jam pretended to not see what was going on, instead opting to ask May "Say, your son looks pretty young, how old is he?"
"James will turn eleven in about a month..."
"WHAT?! He's older than me?!" Jam felt defeated when he thought that there may be an instance where James is his senior.
"Wait, you… you aren't an adult?" May looked at Jam and couldn't imagine how any human would be able to develop into such a well built physique while being alive for less than eleven years.
"Well, technically I am an adult as my body has fully matured, but that doesn't change the fact that he's older than me..." Jam let loose a fake tear, as he looked out the door and into the cloudy skies.
As Jam wallowed his sadness away, May approached Danger Noodle and asked "Well, if he's younger than James you must be half his age, so I'm guessing you're five? Four?"
"No, I'm 21 years old." Danger Noodle's words brought about a visibly trembling May. The adult looking Jam was younger than her ten year old son, while Danger Noodle, a little girl, who looked fit to attend school alongside of James, was actually twenty one? It was a mistake for her to try to make sense of the cultivation world's common sense in the first place…
"Well, let me show you to your room. Follow me..." May took Jam and Danger Noodle through her house. They passed a living room, the kitchen, James' room, and May's room, before reaching a room at the end of the hallway. May said "This was originally supposed to be a guest room so you can stay here as my guests~"
"Thanks~"Jam said as he instantly remodeled the room with things from his storage dimension. There wasn't anything in the room before his arrival, aside from a common bed, so Jam laid out his room with all his gadgets to feel right at home. It was a shame he wouldn't be able to play with these toys. At least Danger Noodle might be able to use some of his treasures to practice her inscriptionist technique.
And so, Jam's life as a mortal began. He spent one day alone in his room doing absolutely nothing. Then another day passed, and another, another… One week. One month… After three months of doing absolutely nothing — not even leaving his room to eat, sleep, or move in general — the straw that broke the camel's back struck Tzatziki with the force of 100 Godkings.
Tzatziki had been waiting anxiously for Jam's patience to run out, as he knew that Jam hated being unproductive more than anything. But, it was actually his patience than ran dry before Jam… Tzatziki asked in a hoarse voice "Jam… What exactly was the point of living here, again?"
Jam opened his eyes for the first time in days, he said "To live like mortals?"
"Tell me, how many mortals have you heard of that stay put for days on end; never mind weeks or months!"
"Uh… none? They would to eat, sleep, and take care of their bodily functions..."
"Well then? When will you start to mimic them?"
Jam gave a big sigh, and picked himself up from the ground. Danger Noodle, who had gone into a pseudo-sleep state right next to Jam, woke up as she felt his back move. Then the two of them, left the room and went out to the kitchen, only to find that May was gone, presumably working, while they were alone in the house with James.
How did Jam know James was in the house? A high pitched voice spooked him from behind, saying "Jam… You've been in your room for months now… I check on you every couple days, and you never move… Blink three times if you are OK…."
Jam looked at James who could best be described as scared beyond straight, as he crept alongside a doorway. He said "Huh? I'm fine. Say, what do you do everyday?" Since Jam was going to start actively living like a mortal, Jam had to first find out what a normal 10-11 year old did in this world.
"What do I do?" The was the most random question James had ever heard. What do I do? Like in my free time? For work? At school? It was just too broad to answer concretely.
"Yeah, like what's your daily grind?" An odd choice of words, but the message was understood.
"Oh, I go to school on week days for seven hours, and play games here at home until I need to sleep. On the weekends I sometimes play with my friends either at their house, or here..." James became very quiet towards the end of his sentence as he was confused as to why he had shared this information. He couldn't be faulted as this was a side effect of interacting with a being much more profound then one's self.
"School? What do you learn there?" Jam was familiar with education, it's just that in his world, most forms of education pertained to cultivation.
"I have English, Science, Math, History, Physical Education, and Spanish classes."
"Why do you need to take two language classes?" Through some sort of magic, Jam intuitively knew that both English and Spanish were languages in this unbloomed dimension.
"It's a graduation requirement..."
"Mhmm… What do you do after learning everything?"
"Learning everything? If you mean what do I do after completely the current course, the the next step is to advance in grade levels and take the next highest course. After learning the State-required courses for middle school, I go to high school and then a university."
"And then what?"
"Then? After completing a university grade curriculum, I heard you get a degree, so you can start working. But, I want to become a doctor, and mom said I have to go through medical school after university as well as get a bunch of other papers before officially becoming a doctor."
"You say you want to be a doctor? Why?"
"Well, mom has cancer… so maybe if I become a doctor, I can research a cure for her..." James voice became sad even though his eyes were still drawing blanks.
"Cancer? What kind of illness is that?" At that moment when Jam asked, he saw the front door open, and May entered while carrying a ton of groceries. Jam stopped talking to James, finally letting him return back to normal, as he approached May.
Jam extended his hands and said "I'll be taking those in for you." He then took the groceries from her hands and placed them on the kitchen counter. Jam left to go outside and returned with the remaining groceries.
When Jam finished setting everything down, he turned to face a still shocked May. He ignored her silly pale face and asked "So… you have cancer?"
Boom! There goes Jam, once again asking questions that would make anyone flushed with confusion. How'd he know she had cancer? Well, he is a god… But why'd he bring it up now? May, after calming down from her shocked state, said "Yeah, I have ovarian cancer… Last time I checked it was stage four, so… I might not even make it past five years."
"Mhmm? What is cancer? I don't think I've ever heard of such an illness."
"You don't know what cancer is? Well, I'm not a doctor, but I think it's a disease where the cells in your body begin to divide uncontrollably and destroy normal tissue in the body. My cancer formed in the ovaries..."
"Can't you just take out the anomalous cells?" Seriously, this could easily be resolved with a simple surgery; well, in the cultivation world, any anomalous activity within the body would just be resolved with divine sense, but this common sense was void in the current world.
"Uh… no? If even a single cell is left within the body it will just restart the destructive process."
Jam had a quick talk with Tzatziki — instantly getting permission to use his cultivation for a "simple" medical procedure. He gave out a deep sigh and said "Well, if it's just destroying some unruly cells it would be quite easily for me to fix. You want me to get rid of your cancer?"
"Yes?" Was it really that simple? Cancer is one of the most infamous disease the current world strived to find a cure for. Could Jam just make the cancer go away?
"Ok well, I'll be placing you in my… oh right, you wouldn't even know what I'm talking about even if I mentioned it… Anyways, I'll need to cut you to drive the shattered cells out of your body. But don't worry, it won't hurt. So, pick a place you would want your unwanted cancer cells to leave from~"